live your life girl

A familiar kiss that takes your breath away just like the first time. A hug that feels like home from a friend that you haven’t seen. A sip of wine that warms you and sparks a memory. A snuggled-up cat while she settles in for her 3^rd nap this morning. A cold beer at a baseball game. A thunderstorm on the horizon while you’re in the arms of a lover. A funny story you remember while out in public and can’t help but giggle. A cool breeze while you take an afternoon nap.  A dream you don’t want to wake up from. A hint of fall as the leaves start changing.  A perfect fit. All are little moments of happiness that make me smile.

Finding your little moments of happiness are now referred to as glimmers, the opposite of a trigger which usually comes with a negative reaction rather than a smile.  I don’t see something that glimmers me everyday but most days I find something that makes me happy. Some days I get an extra boost of momentary happiness and those days make up for the days, like yesterday, that may not have provided enough glimmer to overcome the trigger. Living your life girl is a delicate balance for sure.  I sometimes miss those little things because I am consumed by getting to this thing or that thing. Replying to that text I forgot about or sending that email I have been putting off or planning on what happens next for live your life girl, changing out the laundry oh and don’t forget to feed yourself too. We miss glimmers all the time because life happens.

I spent last Saturday morning honoring a woman’s life I had never met. Listening to the words her family spoke about their mother and grandmother I could feel the energy of the room and it reminded me of a time I had felt before. I couldn’t help but feel a warmth around me from someone that was familiar. I have many moments in a day that I feel a sense of joy and some moments like last Saturday take me back to my favorite moments with him.  He was, what felt like, a giant to me and had a grumpy and stern demeanor most of the time but something about him and maybe a small version of JMFP knew I could break down his wall.  I am sure my cousins all had their own special moments with him, but I know that when I hear Amazing Grace, I instantly flash back to all the glimmers we shared. Tugging on his socks as he pretended to nap, winding the clock that now sits in my basement, and sparing at the dinner table over predated social behaviors he still stood by, finish your plates drink your milk nothing goes to waste, sometimes he needed to be reminded of his own beliefs. Even the smell of his aftershave gives me a little glimmer and I swear I can feel his arms around me hugging me goodbye after that last summer visit. I feel sad somedays but mostly feel joy that I shared so much with this giant grump. The glimmers may have been small and short but they are still with me like it was yesterday.

I love those moments you spend with someone that don’t seem like a big deal at the time and maybe it’s a passing conversation but days later it may come up again and it warms you a little to think that they remembered that moment too. I like to think my grandfather remembered those little moments we shared as a child and grump when we both got too old to spar and he cracked a knowing smile my way.

Today I will look to remember what glimmers came my way as I live my life girl through a sleepy morning, frustrating emails, admitting I forgot to reply and a little rain that made the day feel gloomy. I will remember the glimmer of catching up with an old friend, touching base with family to plan our next movie night, a tasty lunch, and just in time for reclusive girl fall a little PS in my coffee this morning. remember that while you live your life girl to look out for those little glimmers that brighten up your day or give you a little boost of momentary happiness, or more, because you may need them to fill up your happiness tank or comfort you like a hug in the future.